Self-care was always something I understood in theory, but was never very good at in practice. We all know that we should be taking care of ourselves, but often the actual doing it part gets in the way.
So, every time I was in a rough patch or feeling overworked or overwhelmed and someone said, “Are you taking care of yourself?” I wanted to shout back: “NO, I’M NOT TAKING CARE OF MYSELF. WHO HAS THE FUCKING TIME?!” (I didn’t shout that, of course, because I’m a good girl who can only nod politely and smile.)
But, eventually, there came a point where I had to get real. I started putting the old “Who has time?” argument up against my true and utter desire to take really good care of myself, and I decided it was time to cut the bullshit:
If I wanted to be living the life I said I wanted to live, I had to start taking real steps to get there.
So, I did.
On the heels of our last major move as a military family, at the onset of perimenopause (which my doctor reassuringly informed me could take years), and in the midst of abrupt empty nesting, I took a really hard look at my life—what was working, what was making me feel crazy, where I was, and where I wanted to be—and I got honest with myself. Throughout years of motherhood and the mega life transitions that came so frequently in my 21 years as a military spouse, I had been putting myself last and sacrificing my health and well-being for a very long time. And, the truth was, not only was I not living my life in a way that was allowing me to thrive, I was also quite literally making myself sick.
It was in the weeks after my doctor first prescribed me a blood pressure medication to add to my antidepressant and anxiety meds that I decided it was beyond time to commit myself to actively making some changes. It was time to figure out who I was outside of my role of wife and mom, and what it was that I wanted for myself. So, I started doing small, manageable things that began to pave the way to my ultimate goal: living a beautiful life that I chose for myself.
And, because I tend to be an over-achiever, once I decided that’s what I was gonna do, I might have gotten a wee bit obsessive about it. I took classes (on happiness, willpower, meditation, yoga…), I read books (on resilience, women’s health, life transitions…), I watched documentaries (on spirituality, longevity, well being…), I talked to people who seemed to be living well (and people who wanted to be), and I got to work. I unlearned that old motherhood habit of putting on my oxygen mask dead last (if I remembered to put it on at all), and I learned to choose how I wanted to live my life, instead of settling for whichever life happened to land in my lap.
Don’t get me wrong, it took plenty of conscious daily effort (and it damn sure wasn’t a straight-line path), but I kept at it—and I’m still keeping at it!—and, eventually, I found my groove. Making decisions to be good to myself became easier. And I started to breathe again. And gradually—but more quickly than I expected—life got easier, and happier, and healthier, and much more fun to live.
And, ultimately, all of that led me here: to creating a coaching practice and program to help perennial women like me start to figure out who they are and what they want, and to get—and stay—on this path of living the lives they want to be living.
So who am I?
I’m Kim. I’m a 40-something wife, mom, and mom-in-law who spent too many years flicking through Pinterest and Instagram and every damn yoga magazine, wanting very badly to be living the life represented in those pictures I was so busy ‘liking’.
Now, I’m a mountain-dwelling, corporate work-from-homing, life-loving self-care coach who chooses to measure success in increments of joy.
So, here I am. And here you are! And I’m so glad you are because this stuff has much more ‘stick’ when we’re all rooting each other on.
Or just dive right in and schedule a complimentary self-care coaching session with me, so we can talk about that life YOU want to be living … and how we can work together to get you there.